Laughing

Ok, so I haven't blogged in a really long time. Oh well. I found this note on Facebook and it's actually something from my friend Natalie. It seriously had my laughing so hard and I want you to enjoy it with me!

This is a collection of funny calls, stupid questions, and crazy antics encountered at the USU Switchboard. There wasn't really anywhere else to post it, and I felt like the general public needed access. Enjoy!


Elderly male caller: So… are you like… the operator of the whole Universe?
Natalie: Yes. Yes, I am.

Caller: Hey, is Heidi there?
Natalie: Heidi who? Do you know her last name?
Caller: The one you can reach out and touch…

Caller: Hi, is there any way I can get in touch with my kids? They’re at USU for EFY. I just want to tell them I’ll be there soon.
Natalie: No, sorry. I can try the Youth Programs number and they might be able to get in touch with them somehow.
Caller: No, that’s okay. I’ll just be a few minutes.
[About 20 minutes later, the same lady calls back]
Caller: How far away is Utah State from the University of Utah?
Natalie: About an hour and a half.
Caller: S#*@! Where can my kids go to wait for me for an hour and a half?

Caller: Hi, can I get the Wealth and Hellness Center?

Heidi: [Intro]
Man: Steve Mercy… um Murphy. Steve Murphy. I’m sorry sir—MA’AM!
Heidi: It’s ok. One moment.
Man: I’m sorry…

Caller: I need Melanie Pool please.
Katie: Umm…
Caller: Oh, I mean Pond! Melanie Pond. Sorry.

Caller: What’s the school’s website?
Operator: www.usu.edu
Caller: No, that’s not working!
Operator: Maybe the server is down…
Caller: No, tell me it again.
Operator: www.usu.edu
Caller: No dot com?
Operator: Nope.
Caller: Oh, I know why it wasn’t working… I was in a word document.

Female caller: Hi. I just got a call from this number about the results for my testicles...

Caller: Can I get the lunchroom?
Heidi: Where?
Caller: The lunchroom.
Heidi: I don’t know what you mean… What is it for?
Caller: Well, I was told to call the lunchroom for housing.
Heidi: Let me send you to housing at the Lundstrom.

Jess: Utah State
Caller: Graduation please.
Jess: Okay, which college is the graduation for?
Caller: Utah State.
Jess: Do you know what area of study the graduation is for?
Caller: Um, prison.
(Eventually it was narrowed down to HASS)

Alisa: Utah State
Caller: Hello!
Alisa: Hello, Utah State?
Caller: You’re not at Utah State by the way. [laughing]
Alisa: What? This is Utah State…
Caller: [5 second pause] … Oh, wrong number.

Rachel: Utah State
Little kid (LK): Who are you?
Rachel: Who are you?
LK: Who are you?
Rachel: I am the operator.
LK: Oh hi, I don’t want my brother to go to jail, my mom is already there.
Rachel: What did your brother do?
LK: (whispering something)
Rachel: What?
LK: He said shut up! (yelling)
Rachel: He won’t go to jail for that. It’s okay. Can I go now?
LK: Yes, okay bye.
Rachel: Bye

Caller: Hi, um… I need to talk to someone about chickens. I have these chickens here, and I need to talk to someone about them. Is there like a 4H club I can talk to?

Caller: Look, I need to talk to someone in the registrar’s office. I can’t talk to a machine, and no one is answering their phones. So, can you walk down there and give them my number and have them call me?

Caller: Hi, I’m coming from Salt Lake and I need to know if I’ve passed the USU exit. I’m passing a big building with a sign that says “Welcome home, Elder.”
Alisa & Emily: Um, I’m not sure where you are.
Caller: I’m passing mile marker 361.
A&E: I think you’re too far north.
Caller: Okay, I’m passing a sign that says “this town” 21 miles. Exit 382 or something.
A&E: You’re almost to Idaho. You need to turn around and take the Brigham City exit.
Caller: Idaho?! Dang. Well I’m not sure where to get off to turn around.
A&E: Just find the next freeway exit, get off the freeway, then there should be a south-bound I-15 entrance right there. Then just keep driving until you get to Brigham City exit 362.

Emily: Utah State
Caller: How do I find you?
Emily: Where do you want to go?
Caller: University Inn
Emily: Where are you?
Caller: USU Brigham City extension. How far up Main Street do I go?
Emily: You need to come into Logan. You are 20 miles away…
Caller: Crap!

Stephanie: Utah State
Caller: You guys called me?
Stephanie: This is the operator at Utah State. Do you know who might have called you?
Caller: What?
Stephanie: Any outgoing call from Utah State shows up as this number.
Caller: Hold on! [talks to person in background].
[Spanish yelling]
(girl) Hold on.
Come get the phone!
Hold on, I’m in the bathroom!
The phone is for you!
Hold on!
Open the door. I’ll hand you the phone.
Hold on! [door opens] Hello.
Stephanie: Hi, this is Utah State. You called us.
Caller: Sorry. [hangs up]

Kayleen: Utah State
Caller: Can I get campus rec?
Kayleen: One moment. (Tries to transfer, gets busy signal)
Kayleen: I’m sorry, that number is busy. Would you like me to transfer you?
Caller: To the busy signal?!

Caller: Could you ask around and see if Shawn is with you?

Caller: Hi, I have a gifted and talented child. I need to talk to someone about him.

Caller: I broke something wooden. Can you help me?
Operator: Are you alright? What happened?
Caller: Well I was driving through the business parking lot and the wooden thing broke.
Operator: Ok, do you want to talk to the police?
Caller: Will I be in trouble?
Operator: It’s alright, they can help you.

Caller: Is Christy there?
Operator: Do you know a last name or a department?
Caller: She’s the obnoxious one standing right next to you.

Caller: Do you guys get paid to answer the phone?
Operator: Yes.
Caller: That is so cool.

Caller: I forgot the guy’s name… Tell me a few.

Caller: Hi, I need info on the Aggiettes. My friend wants to set me up with one of them and I really need to find out if she’s cute. Don’t they have picture postings on campus?

Caller: Can I get a room number?
Operator: I can’t connect you to room numbers. Do you know the department?
Caller: 213.
Operator: What department?
Caller: 213.

Operator: Utah State.
Caller: Is this Utah State?

Caller: Can you walk down to the TSC and tell the survival people my son will be late?

Caller: Is there a major office where I can find out what my major is?

Caller: Can I be connected to Mary Jo?
Beth: Do you know a last name?
Caller: Yes.

Caller: Can you connect me to the cyber library?

Caller: Hi. I have a question on your alfalfa.

Caller: Is this information?
Amber: It is.
Caller: Good. I have a question… my toenail is falling off. Should I rip it off or leave it?

Caller: Someone forgot to put my cow sheets in the barn.

Caller: Can I get the Barnes and Noble bookstore?

Caller: Can I talk to Larry? He lives somewhere between Logan and Smithfield.

Caller: Hi.
Operator: Hi.
Caller: Gary Leishman
Operator: … He’s not listed. Do you know what department?
Caller: No, that’s who’s speaking. I’m looking for the development office.

Caller: Who did I call?
Kayleen: This is the operator.
Caller: Oh. So what do I do, just say sorry and hang up?

Caller: When’s lunch time?

Caller: I’m trying to find out if the bookstore still sells a candy bar. Can someone go over there and look for me?

Caller: Can I speak with somebody please?
Operator: What department?
Caller: I don’t know.

Caller: I’m trying to pay my fees in the treasure office.

Caller: I got stung by a bee on my lip and now I look like Quasimodo. What do I do?

Caller: Can I get the library?
Operator: Which one?
Caller: It’s the one on Old Main Hill.

Caller: Hi, I’d like to donate my testicle.

Caller: Hi, I have a question about my pressure cooker.

Caller: Is this the Utah State prison?

Caller: [July 8th] Hi. Do you know who is in charge of choosing the University Christmas Tree?

Caller: What’s the number for housing?
Operator: It’s 797-3113. Can I transfer you?
Caller: Does it cost anything?

Caller: Can I speak to Jim Cranney?
Joni: Is that spelled C-R-A-N-N-E-Y?
Caller: No, it’s C-R-A-N-N-E-Y.

Caller: To go downstairs, do you just go down those stairs by the elevator?

Caller: Hi, someone called this number and I’m wondering if you had something that needed to be said.

Caller: Hey, I’m from the West Desert over here, so I got some infections in some chickens and a turkey here. Some folks told me to call – so where do I go?

Operator: Utah State
Caller: Utah State what?
Operator: Utah State University
Caller: Someone just called me.
Operator: We can’t track it.
Caller: So is this the hospital?
Operator: NO! This is the UNIVERSITY.
Caller: Oh… Utah State University…

Caller: Just calling back this number. Did you call?
Collette: No. This is the operator at Utah State University. We didn’t call you.
Caller: Oh you are in Colorado!
Collette: No, UTAH. Utah State University.
Caller: Oh. Ok.

Caller: Do students have to go home during Christmas break?

Caller: I’m in the business building right now, and well, stuck in the elevator…

Caller: Did you just call me?
Beth: This is a general number for the university, you’ll have to wait for them to call you back.
[a few minutes pass]
Caller: Hi, it’s me again. You said you’d call me back.

Male caller: Hi, can you connect my beautiful self to Cedra Jensen?

Caller: Hi, I need the Business of College.

Caller: How do you clean the bottom of an electric iron? It got sort of scorched while I was out of town.

Caller: I have a question for you.
Rachel: Yes, go ahead.
Caller: I was wondering if when babies are born, do they get tested for diseases?
Rachel: Do you know who you are calling?
Caller: I just want to talk to a doctor or nurse.
Rachel: Oh, well this it he operator at USU. I could give you the hospital’s number because the health center is closed.
Caller: Okay, that would be great.


Made my day a little brighter :)
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